Outside the Box

Any true Canadian knows that the only real way to make mac 'n' cheese involves a "remove pouch from box" step and that it is served either one of two ways; with or without ketchup.  It is our babysitters' saviour, our hockey moms' helper and every college's dorm room norm.  No, it is not the same as your Kraft Macaroni & Cheese or your Cheesey Pasta; to do it right it's 'Gotta Be KD'.

Kraft Dinner is as much a part of Cananda as beavers and hockey and mounties and no other nation is as nearly devoted to those straight skinny noodles in the bright orange milky sauce.  From coast to coast, for 99 cents, we purchase almost 80 million cobalt blue cartons each year, but affordability aside, we eat it just because we love it.  In the words of canuck rock spectacle, Barenaked Ladies, if we had $1,000,000 we'd just eat more (and buy really expensive ketchup with it).

While Kraft Dinner is undeniably amazing, there are points in our lives when we might choose to venture outside of the box (or, as in my case, lack of product availability dictates the choice).  Over the years I have tried a slew of " scratch" recipes, from various sources, admittedly without much success; from gloppy cheese to dry and bland, they always fall short on their promise.  With grocery day looming (which means pasta at our house) and a craving for comfort food, I decided to eliminate the middle man and take a stab at concocting my own.

Before we embark on today's kitchen adventure, let's clear up any misconceptions that this will be a Kraft Dinner replacement or any sort of attempt at traditional macaroni and cheese.  There is no gooey orange goodness or smooth creamy sauce (actually, there's not even any macaroni); but it is astonishingly delicious in it's own right. 

Garlic Cream Cheese Penne

white pepper, milk, cream cheese, minced garlic

In a small pot, melt a soup spoon's worth of butter over medium heat, taking care to not let it burn or brown, then add 4 large cloves of garlic, minced, (or more or less depending on your garlic flavour preference) and stir until softened.  Reduce heat to low, whisk in about 150g cream cheese and, once the cheese is melted, stir in about 200mL of milk, a little bit at a time, until your mixture is well blended and smooth.  Season with a dash or two of white pepper, a sprinkle of nutmeg, and any other herbs or spices you might enjoy (I use Vegeta).  Don't panic; it will be very liquid-y but will soon reduce and thicken.

penne pasta

As you are preparing the sauce, have a large pot of lightly salted water boiling on the stove.  Begin to cook about 400g of pasta at the same time you start to stir the milk into your sauce; your timing should be perfect.  I used penne for two reasons; i love how the sauce fills up the insides of the tubes and i only had that or spaghetti available (if you've been following this blog, you know that we've already had spaghetti this week). 

garlic cream cheese sauce

Meanwhile, back at the sauce, once it has thickened to a point of holding well to a spoon remove it from the heat source and stir in a couple spoonfuls of fresh parmesan cheese. When your penne is cooked to al dante, drain well and return it to the pot.  Pour the sauce over the pasta and stir to coat evenly.  Divide into bowls, top each with a bit of fresh ground pepper, avoid the use of ketchup and enjoy.

garlic cream cheese penne

(Almost) Naked Noodles

Growing up, I couldn't fathom why friends would forgo slumber parties for their dad's deep dish lasagna, I didn't understand perpetual arguments over whose grandmother made better sauce and I felt utterly betrayed by my sister when she chose The Old Spaghetti Factory (every time!) on family trips for dinner.  It's not that I didn't like pasta; it's just that I could easily deliver a list longer than linguine of many more mouthwatering meals.   

spaghetti in waiting

Noodles, to me, equalled nothing; yet I loved when my mom would make them.  On those days it seemed as our house had been transformed into a real-life Play-Doh pasta plant.  Floury rounds were fed through smooth, shiny rollers and squished into pancake-ish form; perfect scarves of pasta then carried from the kitchen and draped over every chair to wait for their noodle evolution.  With a crank of the handle, golden strands of fresh fettuccine were magically extruded by the pound, then returned to their rows where they'd dangle to dry like a doughy dining room car wash.  It was impossible not to touch.  And they smelled good.

photos (and pasta) courtesy of my mom

Today, instead of the backs of her chairs, Mom has a nice wooden hanger and I've grown up to fully enjoy a good plate.  When she forwarded the photos I requested for this story (thank you Mom), she mentioned making a modified alfredo sauce rather than the usual meat/tomato to avoid covering the pasta taste with such a dominant flavour.  This brings up the reason I passed on pasta as a kid; I like my noodles naked.

Spaghetti Carbonara

pancetta, garlic, onions

Cover the bottom of a sauté pan (to about 1 cm depth) with the absolute best quality extra virgin olive oil you can afford, heating over medium heat, until an onion piece added will sizzle.  Add one large diced onion, 2 or 4 minced garlic cloves, and two handfuls of chopped pancetta.  Simmer for about 20 minutes, stirring constantly.  Keep an eye on the heat, reducing to low if necessary; you do not want the oil to boil or smoke - but you want your stuff to cook.

olive oil simmer

After 20 minutes of simmer, add a sprinkle of crushed red peppers.  As much as I love heat; here less is more - don't get carried away as those who wish can add more later.  Continue to simmer and stir, now adding one package (500g) of spaghetti noodles to a large pot of (already) boiling salted water you have on the stove.

eggs, salt, pepper

In a small cup, whisk 2 eggs with a little salt and a lot of fresh ground pepper.  When the spaghetti is cooked al dente, quickly drain and return to the pot (keeping the noodles as hot as possible is a must).  Add the eggs and stir madly; the heat of the noodles will cook the eggs and the stirring will distribute them evenly (as shown in photo below).  When you are certain the eggs are done, add your olive oil/onion/garlic/pancetta mixture and stir well again.  Place spaghetti in bowls and top with a generous spoonful of fresh grated parmesan cheese.

eggs cooked by noodles

Don't be fooled by the nudity; the beauty of this dish comes through it's simplicity.  Simmering the onion, garlic, pancetta and peppers for a good length of time allows for the flavours to fully develop and you can taste each ingredient (including the noodles) without any overpowering the others.

spaghetti carbonara

While easily adaptable to accommodate more, the amounts here are perfect for two.  With no rush in the kitchen and no mess to clean up, pour some wine and prepare this for your partner.  It takes less than an hour to put on the table (leaving more time for naked beyond noodles).

Learn more about Spaghetti Carbonara @ Wikipedia

Learn more about heating olive oil @ The Olive Oil Source